Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 37

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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 37

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Sierra 2For the first time in 47-days the Santa Clara County Sheriff had something new to report. They were looking for, no, wait, they found the 1999 red VW Jetta with a black hood and sun roof that they believe is connected to the abduction of Northern California teenager Sierra LaMar. They haven’t disclosed how long they have had the car, who owns the car, what they found inside the car, or the results of forensic testing that has been conducted upon the car. Obviously, this is a good thing because the Jetta may finally lead us down the path that will result in Sierra’s recovery. However, if you are Sierra’s parents Steve and Marlene or her sister Danielle, things are a bit more complicated than that.

Sierra 3Human nature demands that you keep hope alive until proven otherwise. Sierra’s immediate family has been holding onto a thread of hope ever since she disappeared on March 16. They have played out various scenarios, trying to figure out what really happened on that cold, wet Friday morning. Inevitably, thos scenarios end with one resolution: that Sierra is rescued alive, is reunited with her family, and is able to put her affairs in order and lead a productive and happy life. Now, cold reality may be staring them in the face. Perhaps something entirely different went down. Perhaps the end game will not be as they imagine in the silent hours of the predawn morning.

Sierra 4This creates high anxiety. Not the kind of anxiety you feel when you might not get to the airport on time, or when you don’t get the promotion that you feel you deserve. No, this is anxiety that their beliefs, their dreams, their God and their prayers will supernova if this doesn’t play out the way that they have demanded these past months. This is anxiety that physically vibrates your body and incessantly pings your brain like a jagged pinball until some truth at long last reveals itself. It invades your fitful sleep, causes your feet to sweat and makes you want to fall down on your knees and banshee scream at the moon. But you don’t scream at the moon: at least not when others are present.

Sierra 1It has been a long, difficult slog to this place. The community has been magnificent, the media has been consistent, and the cops are working overtime. But at the end of the day we go home to our families, our homes, and our lives. We eat, sleep and awake renewed.

Sierra 5Not Marlene, Steve or Danielle. They aren’t eating right, they haven’t had a full night’s sleep in nearly two months and their consciousness’ have been dominated by one thought and one thought only: find Sierra! They need our help and support as they need each other. But what do you have left emotionally if every fiber of your being has been focused on one point? Not much. I know, because I have been there.

Sierra 6We all want to be there for those we love. We want to support and encourage them in their time of need. But what if those you care about the most share a common crisis that is so over the top that you cannot calculate the enormity of its impact? You stand there alone, emotionally naked, sweating between your sheets at night and shivering as the morning dew evaporates in the breaking dawn. You ar spent with nothing to give back. You simply em bark on another cycle of the living nightmare. You hope as you despair. You laugh so that you will not cry.

Sierra 7Will the red Jetta reveal more truths in the coming days? Let us hope so, but let also keep this family in our thoughts and prayers, because they need us now more than ever.

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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 30

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Krystine Dinh is one of the most knowledgeable volunteers at the Sierra Search Center. She is a problem solver, an organizer, and a good friend. When Krystine is present people gravitate to her to talk, walk, or simply sit in silence. Unfortunately Krystine’s knowledge and empathy were not easily achieved as they were born of personal experience.
On May 17, 2011, her devoted cousin Michelle disappeared while taking nursing classes at Kaiser Hospital in Hayward, CA. That event thrust Krystine and her family into the arena that none of us are prepared to enter, yet are expected to master. It’s never easy to stare into the abyss, particularly when the wind is forcefully pushing at your back and especially when one of the people you love the most is unexpectedly missing and thought to be deceased. So, how do you reconcile the chaos of violent crime with an orderly world and a life plan that now litters your path like shards of broken glass? One way to do that is to draw upon your experience and instinct and get busy trying to achieve that elusive reconciliation.
The first time I saw Krystine was on TV. She was facing a bank of television cameras responding to the disappearance of dear Michelle. She seemed cool, calm and collected: as if she’d been doing this all her life. Her words reassured and she spoke with confidence. “Pretty good for somebody who is totally freaking out because her best friend and confidant had disappeared” I thought.
About a week later I met Krystine, her cousin Michael Le and Michelle’s entire family. She had moved to the Bay Area to begin a new job the day before Michelle vanished. She seemed smaller in person: more fragile. The rest of the family lived in San Diego and had caravanned up to the Bay Area to find Michelle. They needed help.

Instinct is a gift. It is different than intelligence, but equally as important in achieving success. Instinct helps you to get your bearings in the storm and assists in navigating against a difficult tide. Michelle’s family remained united in the midst of a ripping tide, but it was left to the kids, the first generation Americans, to navigate. Krystine belied her years and took the helm. She never wavered in her resolve, she never lost her cool and she commanded the respect of all.

It has been less than a year since Michelle disappeared. It took four months to find her. It has been less than eight months since Michelle’s remains were discovered. Yet Krystine and her remarkable cousin Michael come to the Sierra Search Center whenever they can. They have fought through the pain and the agony of loss and have emerged stronger and more focused for the experienced. Now they share the benefit of their experience with those facing a similar situation.
Krystine Dinh is one of the most knowledgeable and experienced volunteers at the Sierra Search Center. With her help we have conducted sixteen volunteer searches. We have deployed 6,134 searchers on 556 search assignments and blanketed a 20-mile radius around Sierra’s home. In all we have expended 30,936 hours and fed and supplied the entire enterprise on primarily donated food and supplies. Wow!
Violet says that Krystine reminds her of me. In a certain sense that may be so. However, Krystine is much younger, much prettier, and probably much smarter than me. She’s also a woman and she is Asian. You know, in many ways Krystine reminds me of Violet.
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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 20

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Milestones

By Krystine Dinh

Sierra’s search center was buzzing.

Today was productive. Though it has almost been a month since Sierra’s disappearance, over 300 volunteers came ready to search. Brian, armed with new search assignments, successfully dispatched 34 search teams to Morgan Hill. It was a cold day, but the sun shined bright. If Sierra’s nearby, I thought, at least it isn’t raining.

Today may have been productive, but not easy. The month milestone is approaching in two days. That means 31 days of unanswered prayers. 31 days without Sierra: A month too long.

We are people of milestones. Together, we celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, engagements, weddings, promotions, graduations. Then there are those who are tied together by milestones of a darker kind – deaths, tragedies, kidnappings, murders, abductions. Dates forever branded in your memory. For Polly’s family:  October 1st. Our family: May 27th. Now, Sierra’s family: March 16th.

At points throughout the day today, I found myself angry – disgusted at the monsters that have imposed those dates upon us. Those days will never just pass by without notice. For Sierra’s family, March 16th will never be just another day.

One reporter said to me, “I heard there were over eight families here who have gone through a similar situation. Can you tell me about them?” I was almost paralyzed by that question – where do I start? We are connected by milestones of tragedy – ragged, pained threads that bind us together. Given the choice, we would have much rather lived in ignorance – our families untouched and our loved ones unharmed. But, here we are.

As the month milestone approaches, I pray for all the strength in the world for Marlene, Steve, Danielle, Rick, Ashley, Connie, Keith, Sierra’s cat Chester, and the rest of her family, so they may find solace in each other on Monday the 16th. I pray for persistence and leadership for the volunteers so they may continue their efforts as time continues. I pray for safety for our search teams.

I pray for Sierra – for her life, her warmth and her safety.  I pray that one day we will celebrate another milestone – the day she returns home to her family.

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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 17

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Most days I lie awake in the wee hours of the morning trying to figure out what happened to Sierra. Was someone familiar with her patterns lying in wait, knowing that she was isolated and vulnerable at 7:15 a.m.? Or, was it a family friend with evil intentions who just happened to be there on the cold, wet and windy morning who offered to drive her to school? If so, is that individual spending time at the search center, and have I shook his hand…repeatedly? It wouldn’t be the first time. In Polly’s case, and this was verified when we did a records check, the killer’s brother in law was lurking around our search center one day. Are any of the volunteers acting out of character? I really have no way of knowing since I have only known them for a couple of weeks. Was it a schoolmate, jealous that the popular new girl was commanding attention meant for her, or perhaps a boy with his own adolescent motivations? I really should try to get some sleep, because without more information we will never know the elusive answer to this very troubling riddle.
 Today the search was managed and organized by the community. I was the only member of KlaasKids who was able to make the drive to Morgan Hill to help out. It was cold and wet, not unlike the day Sierra stepped out of her home four weeks ago and vanished in the mist. Only that’s not what really happened.
 Brian, who emerged as a leader from the beginning is assuming incident commander status. He is briefing new volunteers and assigning search teams to returning volunteers. Roger, Dave, and Ernie are briefing and debriefing the teams. The data entry ladies are organizing the massive amounts of information flowing through the center so that law enforcement will be able to easily analyze the data. The registration ladies keep the flow into the center smooth, steady and organized, and wheelchair bound Keara is keeping the flow of supplies stocked so that no one is wanting. Like heavenly angels the kitchen ladies ensure that everybody has a meal to eat. Like the miracle of the fishes and loaves, the impossible task of feeding large numbers of hungry people with limited inventory, has never run dry. I love these people; these search junkies who are there day after day, because they make my job look easy.
 The temporary debate regarding volunteer burnout was for naught. All in all, 182 searchers were sent out on 15 search parties today. Searches for missing persons, particularly children, are driven much more by a sense of urgency than a probability of volunteer responses. During my first conversation with Sierra’s family I tried to explain that it would take some time to organize those first searches. They were incredulous that we weren’t able to send search parties immediately. That was a difficult conversation for me because I understood exactly what Steve, Marlene and Danielle were feeling: there is no more time to lose. Well, nothing has changed. We are just farther down the road without any idea where Sierra is.
 My experience is that the numbers of volunteers will dwindle over time. That is going to happen regardless of whether searches are scheduled once a week or every day of the week. However, that is a gradual process that has not yet begun. There is still a sense of urgency in the community and I think that we should continue to take advantage of opportunity.
 It is a matter of relativity. In almost every other case that I have worked, and I am sure that the KlaasKids team will back me up on this, 500+ volunteers turning out to search is unprecedented. However, in Sierra’s case it is status quo. It has happened in virtually every search that has been conducted thus far. Should this week or next week’s numbers dwindle to 200 or even 100 volunteers, we still a significant number of people to cover significant real estate. After all, as much as we are trying to find Sierra we are also eliminating areas where she is not.
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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 16

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Everything is relative.
Last night I dreamt about my own death. I was old: much older than I am right now. My face had not been shaved in several days and I still had a full head of hair. I was in bed surrounded by loved ones and I was holding Violet’s hand. I was neither desperate nor afraid. I didn’t have regret and was at peace with the world. It must have been sad, because unless you are evil, death is always a sad occasion.
 Of course, this dream was a direct result of my immersion association with Sierra LaMar’s disappearance. I have been thinking of little else these past weeks and each day that passes is more ominous than the day before. I am struck by the fact that thousands of searchers and hundreds of search parties have revealed very little about the mystery surrounding her disappearance. As much as I hope that she will be recovered alive, I dread the alternative. I am a pragmatist and must fall back on my experience and knowledge of what we are doing in the field every day. Death invades my thoughts.
 Given that Sierra LaMar is still missing and that we will be searching for her again tomorrow, today was an excellent day. Earlier today I received a phone call from Brian Miller, who has emerged as one of the Sierra Search Center volunteer leaders, regarding another missing child in Morgan Hill. This time it was a 4-year-old girl. She had been missing for an hour by the time Brian and I talked. Obviously, Morgan Hill is very sensitive to child safety in the aftermath of Sierra’s disappearance. The little girl had disappeared during a slumber party after an adult had left the room full of children for a few minutes. Brian told me that upon being informed by a friend of the family he had logged onto the  KlaasKids Foundation Missing Child Page to ensure that proper procedures had been followed in reporting the missing girl to the police. Fortunately, relevant entities were notified in a timely manner.
 After Brian explained the situation he asked me if he could conference in the friend of the family who had notified him so that she could provide more detail on the case. My instinct and sense of dread was such that I wanted to tell him that one missing child in Morgan Hill at a time was enough. Instead, I told him to make the call. When she got on the line she was obviously overcome with emotion. The first words out of her mouth were, “She’s been found. She’s safe.” It turns out that the child is excellent at hide and seek. The first thing out of my mouth was laughter. Sometimes it’s just a good day.
 At 4:00 p.m. I picked up Violet for a quick trip to Berkeley. We had last minute shopping to do for a home improvement project. We were on the verge of exceeding our budget and preliminary research indicated that we would exceed it by hundreds of dollars within the next hour or so. We arrived at our destination and singled out the item that we had only seen through a window on Easter Sunday. It was not only perfect for our project, but cost much less that we had anticipated. We made the purchase and remain under budget. Upon leaving the premises we saw two little girls, one white and one black, tentatively kissing each other on the lips. It was precious.

Sometimes it’s a great day!
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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 13

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There’s a new quarterback in town. Michael Le may be the coolest guy in the room, but even he became giddy at the prospect of meeting 49er quarterback Alex Smith and some of his teammates at today’s search.
 Of course I didn’t need to remind Michael that we were searching for the missing 15-year-old cheerleader and not having a fan-fest for local sports heroes, because it was only six months ago that we were looking for his sister Michelle. That Michael is ready and willing to assume a leadership position in this effort is pretty amazing under those circumstances. “Marc, wouldn’t it be awesome if I was the 49er’s team leader? Then I could boss them around and tell them what to do.”
 “Yes, that would be fantastic Michael,” I said. “Let me see what I can do.”
 I picked KlaasKids National Search Director Brad Dennis up at SFO yesterday afternoon and we drove down to Morgan Hill together. The Search Center was abuzz with activity when we arrived in the late afternoon. Brad disappeared into the mapping room as I engaged Frank Harper in a conversation about an incident he had mentioned last week about a rape victim that he and his sons had rescued more than ten years ago. The physical similarities between that victim, Sierra, and Christina Williams who was kidnapped and murdered in Seaside, CA in 1998, were startling. Got me to thinking so I blogged about it yesterday.
 The search effort is in transition. KlaasKids is turning direct management over to community leaders and assuming a support and assistance role because we don’t have adequate staff to devote full time to the multiple cases that we are involved with. We brought Brad back this week because the response to the Sierra search has been so massive and the 49ers have been so openly supportive. We were concerned about an overwhelming response so Brad and his mapping team planned for as many as 1,000 volunteers.
 Four of those searchers turned out to be 49er tight end Delanie Walker, quarterback Alex Smith and his wife Elizabeth, backup quarterback Scott Tolzien, and tackle Joe Staley who really is as large as a redwood tree. All of them were assigned to Michael Le’s search team.
 When Michael’s team came back hours later I asked him how things went. He said that, “They were really awesome. And you know what? I wasn’t intimidated by them or anything,” Mike said, “but boy are they massive. It’s like they could snap me like a toothpick. They were extremely thorough and enthusiastic and they followed all their instructions. When I told them to hold the line, they held the line. When I asked them to dig into the brush they did. Even their wives and girlfriends dug deeply into the brush. They called me over when they found something relevant or suspicious. They did seem kind of anti-media though. Somehow, a couple of the media truck figured out where we were and started dogging us. It was a tough search, but I know that my team was thorough.”
 Another team, searching a high probability area was looking in outbuildings when they found a barn full of a dozen malnourished and filthy pigs in dilapidated pens.  The team leader reported the find to Santa Clara Animal Control, only to be told that they would not be able to respond until Monday. It turns out that there are only three animal control officers assigned to the 1,500 square mile County. In the old HBO television show Deadwood they used to throw dead bodies into the pigpen to make them disappear.
 These were but two of 53 teams consisting of 600 volunteers that were dispatched for today’s search. Every morning begins with such hope and ends with such frustration. Regardless of how many volunteer show up and how much terrain is covered, and as successful as this effort seems, at the end of the day Sierra LaMar is still missing.
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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search – Commonalities

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Christina 6/12/98
The temperature had just dipped below 60°F when fourteen-year-old Christina Williams took her dog Greg for a walk at 7:30 p.m. on June 12, 1998. When Greg returned home alone, trailing his leash at 8:20 p.m. Christina’s mother Alice immediately knew that something was wrong.

Christina and her family lived on the old Ft. Ord Army Base in Seaside, California. She was a petite 5’2” middle school girl with long black hair and brown almond shaped eyes. Christina had flawless white teeth that lit up a room whenever she flashed her perfect smile.

The FBI classified Christina’s disappearance as a stranger abduction. This allowed law enforcement to devote the full power of their investigative resource to her case. They quickly focused upon two Latino men, one slim and the other heavyset, sort of an evil Laurel and Hardy, as the primary suspects. They had been seen driving in Christina’s sparsely populated neighborhood in an older Mercury Monarch. One witness saw a “frightened” Christina in the car with the two men at approximately 7:45 p.m. Upon receiving a call from Christina’s father Michael, the KlaasKids Foundation organized community searches in cooperation with the Seaside Police Department. Celebrities like Clint Eastwood and Mariah Carey appeared in Public Service Announcements for Christina.

I spent very difficult days with Christina’s father Michael. He was an introverted Meteorologist for the U.S. Army who felt more comfortable in front of a computer than he did at the search center. As a result, Michael Williams was a pioneer in creating one of the first family based sites on behalf of his missing daughter. Michael and his wife Alice, a Philippine native, had raised their two daughters overseas and had only recently moved to the United States. Alice told me that she felt safe in America and that she wanted her daughters to take advantage of the American dream.

Despite the best efforts of all involved, months passed without a significant lead in the case. Finally, on January 12, 1999 an ecological surveyor discovered human remains on the former Fort Ord Army Base, about three miles away from Christina’s home. The identity of the remains was not confirmed for several days.

A few hours after learning that the remains had been positively identified as Christina, her mother turned toward a television camera and in her grief and anguish screamed, “You know who you are.” Unfortunately, we still do not know who they are.

Teresa 10/2/1999
Frank Harper and his seventeen and twelve-year-old sons belonged to a community theater group in Gilroy, CA. On October 2, 1999 after the Saturday night performance of Oliver, they attended a cast party near Masten Avenue in Gilroy, CA. After plenty of good food and ping pong they decided to drive home to San Jose late in the evening.

They were driving East on Fitzgerald Avenue and had just crossed over Santa Teresa Blvd., when Frank saw a flash of light off to his left in the middle of a field. It was a car dome light. About 40-yards away a car door had opened and Frank saw a person slide out of the back door, upside down, legs flaying, onto the ground.

Frank swung his van around and aimed the headlights toward what he first suspected was a domestic quarrel. Instead, he saw a woman running as fast as she could in his direction. He drove toward her into the field. Frank and his sons could see that she was struggling to run because her arms were at her side pulling up her pants. By the time she reached Frank he could see that she was a young girl, no more than fifteen-years-old. 

He rolled down his window and could hear her screaming, “Help me! Help me, I’ve been raped!” Frank told her to get into his van NOW. He assured her that she was safe as she repeated frantically over and over, “I have been raped by three older men.”

As the older, rather beat-up car sped away, Frank’s immediate reaction was to get the license number. Once the girl assured him that she did not require immediate medical attention he floored the accelerator, took off after the rapists, and got on their tail in a high speed pursuit. He put on his high beams, shouted the license plate and told his sons, “If you remember only one thing in your life, remember this license plate number.”

The other car stopped and Frank had to slam on his breaks to avoid a rear end collision. It was very late at night, 55°F with clear skies and the moon was in the last quarter. Frank’s immediate reaction was, “Oh my God! We’re in trouble now.” He didn’t know if they had guns or not. After a brief standoff the other car sped up and raced away.

Frank returned to the cast party where his seventeen-year-old son jumped out of the van to call 911. Several of the parents who were still at the party tried to console the young girl. Teresa, who had just been gang raped by three vicious predators was a petite fifteen-years-old, 5’2” girl with long black hair and big brown eyes. Teresa had been waiting at a bus stop when a car with three men pulled up and dragged her into the car. They drove to Masten Avenue and raped her. She was wearing a nice sweatshirt and stylish jeans. She had a crucifix hanging around her neck.

The police arrived and took Teresa to the hospital. Frank and his sons made their statements and accompanied the police back to the crime scene. Frank wondered what he could have done differently. For a fleeting moment he wished that he had a gun so that he could have blasted the scumbags back into the hell from which they had ascended. But Frank is not that kind of man.

Instead, Frank drove his children home, went to bed and struggled to fall asleep. He couldn’t help but think about Teresa and how she would have to relive this experience for the rest of her life. I think that Teresa had put her life at risk when she escaped her tormentors and that they would have killed her had Frank not been there to rescue her.

The next day Frank and his boys returned to the theater for another performance of Oliver. That was when he found out that the perverts had all been apprehended and charged with rape. All three of them remain in prison to this day.

Sierra 3/16/12
It was 56°F and raining outside when Sierra LaMar disappeared after leaving her home on Paquita Espana Ct. Morgan Hill, CA shortly after 7:00 a.m. She has not been seen since. Morgan Hill is approximately 60 miles from Fort Ord, CA where Christina Williams was kidnapped and murdered, and 13.6 miles from the location where Teresa was kidnapped and raped. Sierra LaMar is a petite fifteen-years-old with long black hair and big brown eyes.
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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search – New Beginnings

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The KlaasKids Foundation is organizing more volunteer searches for Sierra LaMar, the 15-year-old missing teenager from Morgan Hill, California, on Saturday, April 7, 2012, from 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. PDT, and on Wednesday, April 11, 2012, from 8:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. PDT. 
Steve and Danielle LaMar
San Francisco 49ers quarterback Alex Smith and his wife Elizabeth will participate in Saturday’s search, as well as other 49ers players.
 Volunteers are being asked to report to the Find Sierra Search Center, located at Burnett Elementary School at 85 Tilton Road in Morgan Hill.  Volunteers must be at least 18 years old, and must register — with photo identification — at the search center.  “Dress appropriately for the weather, wear long pants and sturdy, covered toe shoes. We need people who can do foot searches as well as individuals who are willing to work in the Find Sierra Search Center. We are also looking for donations of food and office supplies.
Anyone not intending to volunteer with the search for Sierra is highly discouraged from attending, and will be denied access to the site.
Sierra’s Family, The KlaasKids Foundation, The Laura Recovery Center, and Child Quest International would like to thank everyone who has volunteered so far.  The KlaasKids Foundation is continuing to assist law enforcement and the LaMar family with future searches.
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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 6

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On the Other Side

 

This routine is familiar. I woke up at 6AM, prepared to make a long drive to a search center that promises an even longer day. Media trucks are parked outside, but our family is not the one they’re looking to hound now. A long line forms outside with volunteers eager to help. Most are not familiar faces, but their presence is calming. The emotions that come with every search are difficult for me to comprehend – filled with anxiety, but unbeatable hope, exhaustion but perseverance. But this time, I’m on the other side. I’m a volunteer – one of the many- simply looking to make even an ounce of difference in the effort to bring Sierra home.
 “Whatever it takes”, I tell myself – the same phrase I repeated in my head over and over when Michelle went missing last May.
 The first time I met Sierra’s family, I was speechless. What is there to say that would suffice? They are facing a nightmare every minute of the day; they wake up each morning wondering where Sierra is and every night hoping Sierra is alive, fed, safe, warm, trying to find her way back. And on top of all of that, they have to use whatever brain power they have left to coordinate a national effort to bring Sierra home.  I came to the LaMars’ searches knowing that it has only been six months since I faced the same emotions, fought with the same demons – hoping that I would be strong enough now to help others be strong.
 And now I remember. I remember that searches give you an acute sense of how many compassionate people exist – their hearts big enough to give love to people they have never met.
 It amazes me every time. Today, more than 650 volunteers of all ages to came to Morgan Hill to help search, flier and promote fundraising efforts. 70 search teams were dispatched, extending the search radius to 20 miles from Sierra’s home.  Teenagers helped make signs and tie bows. Restaurants, grocery stores donated large amounts of food and water. The most passionate volunteers found themselves in significant roles within the Search for Sierra – whether that be making phone calls or braving poison oak as searchers.
 At searches, everyone is working toward something much, much bigger than themselves. And despite the ugliness that surrounds Sierra’s disappearance, searches remind you that there remains so much good in the world.
 I am in awe of the community that is pulling together for Sierra. I hope this sends a loud, clear message to the abductors, sex offenders, human traffickers, perpetrators, kidnappers, murderers and rapists – that they will not and cannot take our loved ones without a fight. That, if you take one of ours, we are not staying silent.
 From what I have learned, Sierra is a fighter – always sticking up for her friends, speaking her mind, relentlessly showing her loved ones that she cares for them. So, I pray that her community continues to show up for her the way she would for all of them. Together, we can and will bring Sierra home – whatever it takes.
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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 5

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Michael Le is the coolest guy in the room! But it wasn’t always so. When I met Michael he was an anxious, nervous, shy man-child wearing Vibram Five Finger Shoes. He had a deer in the headlights look because his sister Michelle had been missing for nearly three weeks, since May 27, 2011. On June 7, Michael and his family learned on the evening news that Michelle’s disappearance had been reclassified as a homicide.
 Michael’s paternal family were boat people: immigrants who fled Communist controlled Vietnam following the Vietnam War. His maternal family were recipients of the Orderly Departure Program, which allowed people wishing to leave Vietnam after the war to do so in a safe and orderly manner. Both families immigrated to the United States intact and settled in San Diego, CA where Michael’s parents met and married. Michael and Michelle lost their mother to cancer in 1999 and lost their father to indifference before they were even born.
 Son Le immigrated to the United States, the oldest of six children, when he was seventeen years old. Like generations of first born Asian men before him, Sonny received deferential treatment and was allowed to chart his own path. Unfocused, indifferent and caught between two cultures, Sonny became a nomad prone to ancient superstitions as he embraced 21stCentury electro-technology. He has a tendency to disappear for long periods of time and then reappear suddenly as if he had never been away. Sonny deferred his paternal responsibility to his younger sisters and allowed his children to become way stations in his nomadic wanderings. 
 In 2002 Michelle and Michael were living in the San Francisco Bay Area with relatives while Michelle pursued her dream of following in her mother’s footsteps and becoming a nurse. She was six months away from achieving that goal when she disappeared from a Kaiser Hospital in Hayward, CA last May. The extended family began commuting from San Diego to help Michael search for his sister.  
It was during one of these commutes up Interstate 5, which runs from North to South through California’s central valley, that I received the call from one of Michael’s uncles. As we had so many times before, Violet and I watched Michelle’s drama play out on the evening news. She kept encouraging me to help the family, but I deferred, reminding her that the family needed to call us, not the other way around. I believe that my wife was driven by similarity. She too, is a first generation Asian American whose family of nine traveled half ways across the world to settle in the land of golden hills and Champaign dreams.
Our first meeting occurred in a dingy motel room in Hayward. My first piece of advice to the family was to get a new room. Having stayed in hundreds of hotel and motel rooms I understand the importance of maintaining standards of comfort that did not exist at this location. Ultimately, I believe that we reflect our environment which is why it is better to surround ourselves with beauty rather than squalor.
I accompanied the family to the Hayward Police Department where Sonny, surrounded by family, stepped in front of waiting television cameras and read a statement rejecting law enforcement’s theory that Michelle was a homicide victim. He declared that the family still believed that she was alive and that they would search for her until she was found alive. Off camera Sonny looked me in the eye, and promised to move heaven and earth to find his daughter.  Two weeks later he traveled to Vietnam for an extended visit.
Michael and his cousin Krystine, who had just moved to the Bay Area from San Diego, assumed the burden of responsibility, a daunting task for kids in their early twenties. They recruited volunteers to distribute flyers. Although Michael was shy, and he spoke haltingly, he organized small fund raising events and tried to repair the family’s relationship with the police. Finally, when we reached the point where volunteer searches were feasible the family secured a Buddhist Temple that we could use as a search center on weekends. 
 Michael was a ubiquitous presence at the search center. At first he stayed in the background, a lanky lad gracefully shadowboxing or teaching the temple children how to dragon dance. Although he was surrounded by family, and his girlfriend Thuy was never far away and was always watching his back, Michael seemed alone, isolated, attempting to slay the demons in his head as he reconciled his frightening new reality.
 The search for Michelle was very different than the search for Sierra LaMar. We only had a weekend search center, not an entire donated school. Hayward was as indifferent to Michelle’s plight as Morgan Hill has been responsive to Sierra’s. Whereas we have registered thousands of volunteers from Morgan Hill, only a handful of people from Hayward offered assistance. Instead the response came primarily from volunteer SAR teams, the Asian community and those who admired the steely determination of Michael’s tight knit family.

Eventually a core group of volunteers gravitated toward Michael and went with him on ground searches. He became more comfortable and began hanging out in the mapping room, sitting in on briefings and debriefing sessions. Very quiet and never displaying the wild range of emotions typical of family members, including myself, in dire straits, Mikey began to fit into his new role of brother-protector.

As days turned into weeks and then months the family assumed more and more search related responsibilities. KlaasKids is very good at creating a search and rescue effort. We can work with and provide direction families and their communities. We can create relationships with law enforcement and work with the media, but we do not have the resources to devote our full time all the time to a single search. Therefore, we are constantly teaching and instructing. We seek out people to assume critical search related roles and basically hope to Hell that they are up to the task. Michelle couldn’t have been in better hands. Family passion never wavered and their commitment never waned. Unfortunately, on September 17, they learned what we had believed from the beginning. It was during the last scheduled search that Michelle’s remains were discovered. The Hayward Police had been correct all along. She had been the victim of a twisted mind and a vengeful heart.

Throughout, Michael never lost his public composure. The deer in the headlight gaze deferred to focused contemplation. He had developed a passion for search and rescue as he found his voice and his direction. He determined that Michelle’s death would have meaning and announced that he was forming his own SAR team. He organized meetings and team trainings. He has overcome his shy nature as he developed a quiet forcefulness that commands respect.

When Sierra LaMar disappeared I received another call from a desperate family. Again, I explained that certain milestones would have to be achieved before we could launch a major search and rescue effort. Again, my words clashed with a sense of urgency that wants to recover their child, not achieve “certain milestones.” When I called Michael and asked him if he would work with Sierra’s family on preliminary roadside searches he didn’t hesitate for a moment. I could hear the excitement in his voice. He met with them, he consoled them, he took them into the fields to search for their daughter and he led them.

 Now when I see Michael at the search center every day he is not shadow boxing and he seems to have slayed or at least reconciled his personal demons. He stands in front of hundreds of anxious volunteers and quietly commands their attention as he explains basic SAR procedures. He briefs and de-briefs search teams all day long. The shy, lanky man-child I met last year has evolved into a man of purpose and a leader of men who wears Vibram Five Finger shoes. Michael Le is and always will be the coolest guy in the room.
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