Hannah and her friends
Back off of this child!
Sixteen-year-old Hannah Anderson has experienced a week that most people cannot even imagine. A close family friend betrayed her family in the worst way possible. Her mother and eight-year-old brother Ethan were tortured, murdered and torched on August 4. She was kidnapped and held in captivity for a week by a sadistic psychopath. Finally, on Saturday, August 10, her ordeal ended when her kidnapper was shot and killed before her eyes in Idaho’s Cascade Mountains. Now she is the subject of reckless finger pointing and unfounded speculation. It is never acceptable to blame the victim, and all who do so should be ashamed of themselves.
I have experienced tragedy, and I sat there numb and stoic as family and friends wept upon learning that my daughter Polly was dead back in 1993. I will never forget wondering what was wrong with me as my family returned to Sausalito from Petaluma in a slow grief stricken caravan on the chilly evening of December 4, 1993. It was only hours later that the enormity of my loss finally registered. I exploded in a violent rage. I cursed God, the killer, and even myself for not saving my child. Sometimes, the mind and the heart are not so well synchronized. Sometimes, your understanding belies your emotions. Sometimes, your emotions reject a truth simply because that truth is too painful, too raw, and too devastating to accept.
Hannah has taken heat for engaging social media. People wonder what she was thinking, and why she wasn’t steeped in grief. I took those questions to my friend Alicia Kozakiewicz. In 2002, when she was thirteen-years-old an online predator lured Alicia into his clutches. Four days later she was rescued by the FBI. Now she is a very effective child safety advocate.
Alicia explained that Hannah’s emergence demonstrates how important social media is to kids. Hannah has grown up with social media, she feels very comfortable sharing with people online because it is what kids do. Right now Hannah is emotionally needy, and is seeking comfort and support. She is confused, in shock, and not fully comprehending her situation. Social media, chatting with her peeps, gives her the validation that is otherwise scarce right now. Hannah’s online actions are ill advised, but they are illustrative of child who needs guidance and help, not criticism, innuendo, and condemnation.
It is easy to sit in front of a television set in the comfort of your home, protected from the outside world and armchair-quarterback the issues of the day. However, that doesn’t provide you with insight or secret knowledge. Jim DiMaggio is the criminal in this incident. If you want to point fingers and play the blame game, he is the object of your attention, not his sixteen-year-old victim. She deserves better than that. Send Hannah your hopes, prayers and good wishes: not your criticism, unfounded speculation and finger pointing.
None of us have any idea what happened. To speculate is just wrong. Lay off, stay off and shut up. Whatever happened is none of our business and I’m sure all will be known by law enforcement eventually. At this time, I am relieved this child is safe….do not judge based on what you would have done or what you think her parents should or should not have done. Sadly there are evil people amongst us and often they are people we completely trust. Leave the unanswered Questions and Judgments to God.
My .02 about this. Yes there are a lot of unanswered questions and many things don’t make sense. But even if some of the things Hannah did were inappropriate, it doesn’t matter. She’s a child, a minor, and not legally responsible for her physical and ethical actions. The adult in the situation, DiMaggio, is always responsible for a minor committing bad acts. Let’s say hypothetically, Hannah did play a part in this– My question to all you conspiracy theorists is this: “Where do you think she got the idea in the first place?” There’s a legal term for that- It’s call Coercion and when its used by an adult to incite a minor to commit illegal or unethical acts its usually a felony. Regardless of what terrible events may have unfolded between these two individuals, she’s still the victim. That’s why the LE agencies are supporting this young girl- as they should. I agree with the others in that she’s probably been manipulated in some way by DiMaggio since birth and there are several terms for that- they are – abuse, brainwashing, plying, coercing, intimidation….. I don’t think, if there was any question of legitimate criminal activity on Hannah’s part, that LE would be so vocal about assuring us that she’s the victim. Part of our jobs as adults who are entrusted with our friend’s children is to be their moral compass and not allow them to make a poor decision. The last thing they need is for the people closest to them to take advantage of them. I’m shocked at some of the horrible comments people have made about this girl and I only hope that the adults in her life that she can trust are shielding her from them. The level of nonchalant hatred and judgement I’ve witnessed toward this young lady is absolutely unfathomable to me. Whatever happened- it’s not her fault and I hope that she can get the support and help she deserves to pick up the pieces of her life and move on and be a happy kid. Nobody deserves what happened to her. Nobody.
Marc, I respect you, and your opinion. With that said, I have followed many cases, and this one has me scratching my head. I admit, I don’t know what the police know – only reports of phone calls (13) and letters. I would like to see her take a LDT to see if she had any involvement in this case (just as you did). We can all assume she didn’t go with him willingly, but she seemed to go willingly on day trips, and overnights. And by all appearances the selfies and talk of social media shows, IMHO, a disregard to the loss of her mother, brother, and dog. She is just too obviously happy! My apologies, as I don’t mean to offend. My feelings come from the heart, and I pray Hannah was not involved.
Such a well stated viewpoint. What is wrong with people today that they think its okay to blame a victim of crime for the crime? She is a young adult, and irregardless of what else might have gone on either in front of or behind the backs of her parents, this young woman was cruelly and viciously kidnapped, victimized and abused. Her family was cruelly murdered and she is trying to make sense of what is left of her life. She has no mother, no brother to reach out to. Let her use the lifelines that she is accustomed to and stop trying to judge her as a participant in this tragedy. I am praying for Hannah, that she will come through this ordeal with compassion and empathy for those in her situation and use it for good.
We’ve gotten quite a bit of grief for writing a similar article to this, Marc. People are calling US pedophiles for standing up for Hannah and calling out those who have been harassing her. Kind of makes one wonder…
Working in the field of child abuse and neglect has given me insight over the years in how differently every child experiences trauma. It is beyond delusional to think any 16 year old child can defend themselves against an adult with ulterior motives. Predators exploit teens’ feelings of needing to belong, wanting to be all grown up, their confusion and inability to sense monsters when they encounter one. This child is still in utter shock, none of this is real to her, she has yet to come to terms with what happened. Blaming a child for being exploited by an adult in her life, especially one who was known to her and trusted by her family, is far more telling about the person pointing the finger than the person they are pointing their finger at.
Very well-said. It has been so troubling to see the public finger pointing at this young girl. So much speculation and criticism has been targeted at her that it seems as a lot of people are rooting for her to be the villain in this tragic story, Horribly victimized by DiMaggio, she is now being tormented by many in the “public”.
Thank You Phyllis Loya for your statement…You hit the nail on the head!!! Re-victimizing this young girl after all she has been through, and will have to go through, by pure speculation is ludicrous!!! He was a TRUSTED family friend, who had obviously had fooled this entire family…And anyone who thinks that is not possible, needs to educate themselves on this topic, through case research and statistics…It is most always a trusted family friend or family member that pulls off these unimaginable heinous crimes!!!
Mr Klaas, I disagree with you on this one, and I pray that I am wrong! But what family lets their well adjusted 16 year old daughter, go on day trips, text and write letters to an adult male family friend? I have experience with youngteen girls as well, they live what they see, and if she had no strong family upbginging, and she saw what her good looks could get her, then there was troublecoming. Now whether her parents knew what was going on is a whole different story, as in, she did not realize the signal she might have been giving this man. The truth will come out, and I pray that you are right about this young woman. I just cannot figure why he felt he had to kill them, if they had already allowed her to travel with him alone.
It is NEVER the victims fault. This guy was a disturbed murderer manipulator. Nobody deserves to be assaulted. As humans we all make mistakes. Regardless of our mistakes and naivety at times, that is not an open invitation for someone to assualt us. There is nothing wrong with trusting people. There is something wrong with someone who takes advantage of another person who trusts them.
Beautifully written and exactly to the point. Marc once again you’ve nailed it on the head. Thank you. <3
Very well said, Marc.
Why is it people find the need still, in this day and age with all the education we have had on victims/survivors, to criticize the victim? A child victim no less. It makes me heart sick and and irate all at the same time. Very well stated Marc. Child victims need all the love, support and understanding they can possibly get as they embark on their journey through healing. Most adults would have crumbled under Hannah’s terror!!! She is a true example of strength, so I believe she will victoriously one day proudly where her hard earned crown of “Survivor”…I am with you completely, anyone coming from a complete stand of total ignorance needs to back off of this child!!!! Let the ones she loves who love her help her through her recovery. AND DON”T make it any more difficult on her than it already is!!!