Category Archives: Krystine Dinh

Michelle Le Murder Trial: Day 1

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Accused killer Giselle Esteban

I spent the nineteenth anniversary of Polly’s kidnapping and murder in court. Today began the trial of Michelle Le’s accused killer Giselle Esteban. If opening statements were indicative of how this trial will be handled, and in my experience they usually are, then this is one killer who will never again walk in the grass, smell the roses, or vacation on a beach. Instead, she will rot in a physical hell that matches the sick, twisted fantasies that dominate her life and ruin the lives of those who find themselves drawn into her sphere.

 

The prosecution was unambiguous. Giselle considered her crime for a long time. She planned to kill Michelle, and she telegraphed that information to others.

 

There is no privacy in 21st Century America. The prosecutor can document events leading up to Michelle’s murder. He has phone a variety of phone records including text message logs, which paint a portrait of a monster. There is an extensive record of phone calls that calculate her obsession with a woman who meant Giselle no harm and never threatened her. Cell tower pings track Giselle’s movements as she stalks Michelle, her work place, her friends and associates. There are pictures and video of Giselle invading Michelle’s space in harrowing and intimate ways. There is the trail of breadcrumbs that ultimately led to Michelle’s remains, days after Giselle was charged with her murder. All in all, a portrait of a twisted woman with hate in her heart and vengeance on her brain is painted in bold brushstrokes, so that all can see her madness, her evil intent.

Murder Victim Michelle Le

The defense paints a different picture altogether. But even their pastel portrait is streaked in crimson red: the crimson red of Michelle’s blood. They say that it wasn’t a premeditated crime. That instead it was a crime of passion caused by victim whose loose morals invited scrutiny and ultimately retribution. Despite a potential mountain of evidence the defense claims that Giselle is being portrayed as something that she is not. She is not a monster, instead she is a woman scorned. A woman who watched her family crumble beneath her as a philandering boyfriend betrayed her trust and their family.

Scott Marasigan the Man in the Middle

But opening arguments are but a preview of things to come. Scott Marasigan, the lover scorned for crimes perceived but never committed, was the first witness. He spent the afternoon reading from text message transcripts and Giselle’s jealous obsession and twisted logic manifested itself before our eyes. The transcripts were vile, slanderous, profanity riddled sound bites designed to belittle, injure, and torment. Several times a day Giselle would stab Scott with her invective. Three hundred pages of insults that repeated the same words time and again: whore, slut, bitch.

Brother Michael Le & Cousin Krystine Dinh

It was enough to make seasoned reporters gasp in horror. Unfortunately, it was also enough to make Michelle’s brother Michael and cousin Krystine leave the courtroom shaken and in sobs. And today was only the beginning.

 

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The Day is Here – We Love You, Michelle

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On May 27, 2011, 26-year-old nursing student Michelle Hoang Thi Le went missing from Hayward, California, just hours before she was going to meet a friend for a weekend trip. Immediately, our family and her friends launched a national search campaign to find her. After 113 exhausting days of searching for her, our amazing volunteers found her on September 17, 2011. Though we didn’t find her alive, like we were vehemently hoping, we had our answer. We had no choice – that answer had to be enough. We laid her to rest and tried with our might to get back to living a different life without her.

It is hard to believe that a year ago today, we found Michelle, after 113 days of searching for her. It’s also hard to believe that the day has come to ensure there is justice for her murder.

The trial is beginning.

I am apprehensive and anxious. And I can’t sleep. The past three weeks have been nerve wracking, to say the least. Every night, my nightmares have revolved around murder, death or being chased by some impending crisis. I’d rather stay awake.

Since she went missing on Friday, May 27, 2011, life took a screeching halt and turned another direction, down a road that we were never prepared to travel. Our search center was our second home; our search teams became our second family.

All that most people see in the news is about her disappearance, the murder, her accused murderer and, now, the trial. But there was a life she had before May 27, 2011 – one full of dancing, playing, laughing, and loving with her friends and her family. Time is slipping by so fast, it seems, and it becomes a challenge to keep that story about the living, breathing Michelle we all know and love. I didn’t want her to become just a memory, a frozen face in pictures. I want to continue telling her story over and over again – about who she was, what food she liked, what she liked to do – everything just to remind myself and others that she existed here, with all of us, before her life was robbed from her.

Our family, her friends – everybody had their own special relationship with her before that day. I can only speak on my own behalf, but I know she spread her light to so many others.

To me, Michelle was a big sister. I looked up to her for as long as I can remember. I miss everything about her.

My favorite memories revolved around Michelle, Michael (her brother), and my brother – all of us within four years of each other in age. Growing up, we would all play “house”, which eventually progressed to video games, Pokémon, card games, board games. You name it, we played it. I remember it was like a kid’s dream come true when Michael and Michelle moved in with our family when she was 14, so the four of us cousins – we all grew up together in a zone that seemed like constant playtime.

We grew older into our teen years. I remember Michelle giving me boy advice in middle school, her tweezing my eyebrows for the first time at twelve, her helping me write my first “crush” letter, burning our sappy love song CDs. My mom even banned us from going into each other’s rooms past 10pm, because we’d be found early in the morning groggy and sleep-deprived from talking until dawn. I remember we even got our first jobs together and scheduled our shifts with each other so we would be able to lounge at La Jolla shores during the day and work at night. I remember choreographing stupid dances to hip hop songs.

We grew up in a huge family with many cousins, most of them boys, so she was my main confidante even into our 20’s. I remember talking about our future weddings and joking about what we would say when we made our maid of honor toasts. I remember talking about me moving back up to the Bay Area so we could hang out here together. I kept my word and I did – only 3 days too late, on May 30, 2011.

She seemed to live as though she knew the secret – that life was short and precious; that relationships mattered most and everything else was just stuff. Most people don’t reach that realization until much later, but Michelle – she always knew. Michelle was joyful, carefree, lighthearted, beautiful inside and out. She laughed easily, joked often, forgave liberally and gave constantly without expecting anything in return. She loved to shop. She was your BEST bargain shopper and had a seriously awesome, fabulous closet. She loved to dance and going out with her friends. She loved to eat, and then judge all restaurants on Yelp. She loved to read. She had 3 tattoos – a compass, a sparrow, and her mom’s signature on her left breast, over her heart. She hated heels and always opted for sandals or boots. She would loan her friends anything they needed or wanted – whether it be a car to get to a job interview or a scarf on a cold day. She gave and gave, and even took her passion for helping and put it toward a career in nursing.

She was in an accelerated nursing program and was only 6 months from graduating from Samuel Merritt University when she was killed. She was only 26 years old.

I remember so much more than words can ever write, than pictures can ever express. I want to capture all of the details in a box, with memories I can pluck out to re-live all the playtimes, shopping dates and conversations we had. But that’s not possible.

Since September 17th 2011, after we found her, we’ve seen grief settle in the veins of each of our lives, spreading its symptoms like a virus. Some of us have lost relationships and friendships after a change of that size and impact. Some of us have grown closer to others who were complete strangers before. Some of us continued to live her legacy because that’s the only way we knew how to cope with our loss – by keeping her name alive. Some of us pretended it never happened, imagining that she’s on vacation or on a very long leave. All of those who loved her – we were all challenged to press ‘reset’ to a new normal.

One of the most important steps of building her legacy and ensuring that her death was not in vain is to make sure her killer is not roaming the streets free with blood on their hands. And we have to take that step – now. Whether or not we want to face the tragedy again, it’s time to. For Michelle.

We cannot thank everyone enough, still, for bringing her home to us. We know that there are many families out there who have missing loved ones, and we were fortunate enough, at least, to be reunited with ours. Please stay with us while we begin the legal process to ensure justice in her name.

She was a granddaughter, a daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a puppy mom and she is missed everyday.

I love you, Michelle.
We love you, Michelle.

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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 30

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Krystine Dinh is one of the most knowledgeable volunteers at the Sierra Search Center. She is a problem solver, an organizer, and a good friend. When Krystine is present people gravitate to her to talk, walk, or simply sit in silence. Unfortunately Krystine’s knowledge and empathy were not easily achieved as they were born of personal experience.
On May 17, 2011, her devoted cousin Michelle disappeared while taking nursing classes at Kaiser Hospital in Hayward, CA. That event thrust Krystine and her family into the arena that none of us are prepared to enter, yet are expected to master. It’s never easy to stare into the abyss, particularly when the wind is forcefully pushing at your back and especially when one of the people you love the most is unexpectedly missing and thought to be deceased. So, how do you reconcile the chaos of violent crime with an orderly world and a life plan that now litters your path like shards of broken glass? One way to do that is to draw upon your experience and instinct and get busy trying to achieve that elusive reconciliation.
The first time I saw Krystine was on TV. She was facing a bank of television cameras responding to the disappearance of dear Michelle. She seemed cool, calm and collected: as if she’d been doing this all her life. Her words reassured and she spoke with confidence. “Pretty good for somebody who is totally freaking out because her best friend and confidant had disappeared” I thought.
About a week later I met Krystine, her cousin Michael Le and Michelle’s entire family. She had moved to the Bay Area to begin a new job the day before Michelle vanished. She seemed smaller in person: more fragile. The rest of the family lived in San Diego and had caravanned up to the Bay Area to find Michelle. They needed help.

Instinct is a gift. It is different than intelligence, but equally as important in achieving success. Instinct helps you to get your bearings in the storm and assists in navigating against a difficult tide. Michelle’s family remained united in the midst of a ripping tide, but it was left to the kids, the first generation Americans, to navigate. Krystine belied her years and took the helm. She never wavered in her resolve, she never lost her cool and she commanded the respect of all.

It has been less than a year since Michelle disappeared. It took four months to find her. It has been less than eight months since Michelle’s remains were discovered. Yet Krystine and her remarkable cousin Michael come to the Sierra Search Center whenever they can. They have fought through the pain and the agony of loss and have emerged stronger and more focused for the experienced. Now they share the benefit of their experience with those facing a similar situation.
Krystine Dinh is one of the most knowledgeable and experienced volunteers at the Sierra Search Center. With her help we have conducted sixteen volunteer searches. We have deployed 6,134 searchers on 556 search assignments and blanketed a 20-mile radius around Sierra’s home. In all we have expended 30,936 hours and fed and supplied the entire enterprise on primarily donated food and supplies. Wow!
Violet says that Krystine reminds her of me. In a certain sense that may be so. However, Krystine is much younger, much prettier, and probably much smarter than me. She’s also a woman and she is Asian. You know, in many ways Krystine reminds me of Violet.
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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 20

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Milestones

By Krystine Dinh

Sierra’s search center was buzzing.

Today was productive. Though it has almost been a month since Sierra’s disappearance, over 300 volunteers came ready to search. Brian, armed with new search assignments, successfully dispatched 34 search teams to Morgan Hill. It was a cold day, but the sun shined bright. If Sierra’s nearby, I thought, at least it isn’t raining.

Today may have been productive, but not easy. The month milestone is approaching in two days. That means 31 days of unanswered prayers. 31 days without Sierra: A month too long.

We are people of milestones. Together, we celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, engagements, weddings, promotions, graduations. Then there are those who are tied together by milestones of a darker kind – deaths, tragedies, kidnappings, murders, abductions. Dates forever branded in your memory. For Polly’s family:  October 1st. Our family: May 27th. Now, Sierra’s family: March 16th.

At points throughout the day today, I found myself angry – disgusted at the monsters that have imposed those dates upon us. Those days will never just pass by without notice. For Sierra’s family, March 16th will never be just another day.

One reporter said to me, “I heard there were over eight families here who have gone through a similar situation. Can you tell me about them?” I was almost paralyzed by that question – where do I start? We are connected by milestones of tragedy – ragged, pained threads that bind us together. Given the choice, we would have much rather lived in ignorance – our families untouched and our loved ones unharmed. But, here we are.

As the month milestone approaches, I pray for all the strength in the world for Marlene, Steve, Danielle, Rick, Ashley, Connie, Keith, Sierra’s cat Chester, and the rest of her family, so they may find solace in each other on Monday the 16th. I pray for persistence and leadership for the volunteers so they may continue their efforts as time continues. I pray for safety for our search teams.

I pray for Sierra – for her life, her warmth and her safety.  I pray that one day we will celebrate another milestone – the day she returns home to her family.

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Sierra LaMar: Anatomy of a Search Day 6

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On the Other Side

 

This routine is familiar. I woke up at 6AM, prepared to make a long drive to a search center that promises an even longer day. Media trucks are parked outside, but our family is not the one they’re looking to hound now. A long line forms outside with volunteers eager to help. Most are not familiar faces, but their presence is calming. The emotions that come with every search are difficult for me to comprehend – filled with anxiety, but unbeatable hope, exhaustion but perseverance. But this time, I’m on the other side. I’m a volunteer – one of the many- simply looking to make even an ounce of difference in the effort to bring Sierra home.
 “Whatever it takes”, I tell myself – the same phrase I repeated in my head over and over when Michelle went missing last May.
 The first time I met Sierra’s family, I was speechless. What is there to say that would suffice? They are facing a nightmare every minute of the day; they wake up each morning wondering where Sierra is and every night hoping Sierra is alive, fed, safe, warm, trying to find her way back. And on top of all of that, they have to use whatever brain power they have left to coordinate a national effort to bring Sierra home.  I came to the LaMars’ searches knowing that it has only been six months since I faced the same emotions, fought with the same demons – hoping that I would be strong enough now to help others be strong.
 And now I remember. I remember that searches give you an acute sense of how many compassionate people exist – their hearts big enough to give love to people they have never met.
 It amazes me every time. Today, more than 650 volunteers of all ages to came to Morgan Hill to help search, flier and promote fundraising efforts. 70 search teams were dispatched, extending the search radius to 20 miles from Sierra’s home.  Teenagers helped make signs and tie bows. Restaurants, grocery stores donated large amounts of food and water. The most passionate volunteers found themselves in significant roles within the Search for Sierra – whether that be making phone calls or braving poison oak as searchers.
 At searches, everyone is working toward something much, much bigger than themselves. And despite the ugliness that surrounds Sierra’s disappearance, searches remind you that there remains so much good in the world.
 I am in awe of the community that is pulling together for Sierra. I hope this sends a loud, clear message to the abductors, sex offenders, human traffickers, perpetrators, kidnappers, murderers and rapists – that they will not and cannot take our loved ones without a fight. That, if you take one of ours, we are not staying silent.
 From what I have learned, Sierra is a fighter – always sticking up for her friends, speaking her mind, relentlessly showing her loved ones that she cares for them. So, I pray that her community continues to show up for her the way she would for all of them. Together, we can and will bring Sierra home – whatever it takes.
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